Chronicles of a Sad Girl

  • There is a Light That Never Goes Out…

    It’s a hard thing to realize that you are the problem…that you contribute to the loneliness. If everyone leaves, no matter what, how much of that falls on my shoulders. Whether I choose bad people, or my attitude turns people away, I can’t just pretend other people hate me for no reason. I looked at…

    shadowgirl

  • What about your Friends?

    Let’s talk friends shall we? When you’re young, having tons of friends is celebrated. But as you get older, you realize that less is more. It’s about the quality and the depth of connection that matters. I didn’t know how to make “friends.” The world is different when you are your family’s scapegoat. Guess this…

    shadowgirl

  • Who Cares!?

    Today the sky is Grey. The sun doesn’t shine, the blue doesn’t show. It’s the perfect depiction of how I feel inside. I’m not empty. I exist. But what exists isn’t bright and shiny. It isn’t happiness and fulfillment. It just is. It’s just matter taking up space. That’s the perfect analogy for my existence.…

    shadowgirl

  • Thinking out Loud

    Lifes hard isn’t it. And it’s even harder when you feel like no one’s there for you. Although my husband is a great guy, his ability to empathize or even acknowledge and validate my feelings, is non existent. He’s more of a results guy. If I have a problem he wants to dive right in…

    shadowgirl

  • Just keep swimming

    Feeling sorry for myself has been the wrong approach to life. How much of my misfortune is due to how I think and feel about myself? I know that there have been things that happened that were out of my control. After all, suffering abuse as a kid was not exactly a choice. But here’s…

    shadowgirl

  • To die or not to die…

    Imagine how much pain, shame, guilt and feelings of unworthiness one has to carry to actually think that suicide is the best option. I don’t want to die. But I also know that I can’t handle anymore pain. I carry so much already. People wonder why my emotions go from 0 to 60 in a…

    shadowgirl

  • Mean girls

    I had developed social anxiety pretty early on in my life, and moving only made it worse. School was tough. Especially when you’re the new awkward kid. I probably could’ve made friends but I was afraid of people. My family had convinced me that I was unworthy of any type of love so I mostly…

    shadowgirl

  • An actual friendship

    Back home, I had very few “friends.” That’s because I pretty much ignored everyone. I didn’t have the mental space to deal with anything else other than the hell I was living at home. Danny was this weird girl who for some reason wanted to be my friend. I say weird, because she wasn’t like…

    shadowgirl

  • Perfection & Perception

    “It is our very search for perfection outside of ourselves that causes suffering” -Buddha It is wrong to expect perfection from anyone, including yourself. Perfection is a myth. I find it ironic that I expect people to be perfect but I am one of the most flawed people I know.  Is it because the adults…

    shadowgirl