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Mom.
Mom is the nicest person I’ve ever met. She’s kind, selfless, and will do anything for anyone. So I feel guilty saying that she wasn’t the best mom. I guess her perception of me was constantly changing. Maybe I reminded her of my dad, maybe my being alive was the one thing that ruined her…
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Self-sabotage
How can you possibly trust anyone when the only thing people have shown you over and over again is that evil exists? I didn’t feel the need to have people in my life at all, and I was planning on keeping it that way but of course people come into your life and challenge those…
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It’s all a Choice
Ever watched someone you love endure an abusive relationship and wonder why they still choose it everyday? It’s always easier to say you’d do things differently if it were you right? Well, maybe..but it’s not so black and white. If you’ve had a somewhat normal upbringing and you had a great example of what a…
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Finding My Voice
I didn’t speak to Ana for a while. I didn’t intend to ever speak to her again, but she sent a note out to my teacher asking for me. So I went. “Why haven’t you visited?” She asked. I told her the situation with Diana had gotten better, and that I had made friends so…
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Accountability.
When you grow up in an abusive home, it changes the way you view all relationships. For me, a relationship was not something I ever actively seeked. I didn’t want to do feelings, because I didn’t have any healthy ones, and I didn’t think that’d be fair to anyone. All of the relationships I’ve had,…
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A Real Father
The first time I witnessed real love, I ran scared…literally. My only experiences involving “love” had been with Alan and Henry. Any type of touching or kissing triggered fear. Marie was a professor at some fancy University and Mike was a truck driver. They had a nice home. Peaceful. No one ever yelled or fought.…
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Stepping into Motherhood
It was time to move out of my temporary situation with Alicia & Joe. Mom was back and she had keys to our own apartment. I grabbed all my clothes and stuffed them in my backpack and we were on our way. The apartment was huge! It probably looked that way because it was empty,…
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The Nurse’s Prey
Ana is not who you picture when you think about child abuse. She was young, had a career and a life with her boyfriend, and even less unassuming because she was a woman. I came in to the nurses office because I had cramps. She had an electric blanket that warms up when you connect…
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Mean girls
I had developed social anxiety pretty early on in my life, and moving only made it worse. School was tough. Especially when you’re the new awkward kid. I probably could’ve made friends but I was afraid of people. My family had convinced me that I was unworthy of any type of love so I mostly…
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An actual friendship
Back home, I had very few “friends.” That’s because I pretty much ignored everyone. I didn’t have the mental space to deal with anything else other than the hell I was living at home. Danny was this weird girl who for some reason wanted to be my friend. I say weird, because she wasn’t like…
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Chronicles of a Sad Girl 