A father’s role in his daughters life is to model what a man should be. I don’t know what my mother saw in that guy because he was a sorry example of one.

He never paid child support, and that’s mostly because my mother was too proud to ask for it. She let him off easy. I saw him when I was a little girl and he came over to visit Freddy. My grandma made sure I was ready for him thinking we’d have a moment, but he didn’t even look at me, he looked in my direction through his peripherals only to move me out of the way.

None of his other children became successful at anything. It’s quite the opposite actually. One of them is in prison, another one is a drug addict, and the other one has 10 children all from different fathers. So I think it’s safe to say I dodged a bullet. How bad a father was he that even with all the shit I’d been through, I somehow did life right.

One of my step sisters befriended me on Facebook and I naively thought we could maybe have a relationship. But as soon as I got my hopes up, she asked for money. Why do I continue to try with these people? And the cherry on top? Having to hear how great of a father my father was.

A person can only handle so much. I’ve experienced rejection and abandonment so many times, I’ve lost count. What’s worse is experiencing it from people that are supposed to love you no matter what. Guess that’s the kind of thing that happens when you are born into the world being someone’s reminder of their sins.

I don’t fit in anywhere.