My mother sacrificed her whole future for her sister’s.  She helped pay the bills while her sisters went to college. My aunts both have fancy careers, own homes and have husband’s.  Mother is a single parent dealing with a kid she never wanted.

My father was a married man. He ended up on Freddy’s couch often because his wife couldn’t deal with his alcoholism. That’s where my mother met him. They never had a formal relationship. The only dates they had, happened on Freddy’s couch. Mother ended up hooking up with him one night and 9 months later I was born.

My grandfather was a navy man. He was a man of principle and held strong beliefs in the sanctity of marriage. So it wasn’t a surprise when he told his children they’d be disowned if they ever had a baby out of wedlock. So mom kept her pregnancy a secret. She ended up driving herself to the hospital when she was ready to go into labor and managed to make it all the way there all while having contractions. After many hours of labor doctors told her I was sitting in an awkward position and if she pushed me out, she’d break me. So she had a C-section. Mom gave birth to me… Alone. And no one knew I existed.  Doctors told her she couldn’t drive and she had to call someone to take us home. So Mom lied. She ended up driving us home..stitches and all.

She avoided her parents for years after my birth until we ran into them one day. “Who’s the kid?” Grandpa asked. “I’m sitting for a friend” she replied. But Grandpa knew it was a lie. He called later that day to tell her that she could “bring the kid over whenever.” And so she did.

Meeting my grandparents was the best thing that ever happened.  They were the only shining light in an otherwise pitch black world. My home was a shit show. Abuse in all forms was a daily thing.  Escaping it for even a little, to stay with my grandparents felt so good.  It was the first time I felt real love.  Love without conditions. Love that wasn’t attached to hate.  Love that didn’t hurt. Free love. The kind of love I didn’t have to work for or earn. They are the only reason why I’m able to love people as hard as I do. I’d probably be a psychopath without em.  Who knows.